dazes and frightens
then with His loving hands
heals and enlightens” —17th century hymn writer, Hallgrímur Péturrson
falling in love is not one fluid moment. it is an act comprised of many moments. especially the moments when you kiss and your body becomes weightless with a loss in sense of direction.
all my life i’ll be waiting.
i was in a 3 and half year relationship with someone that i had a crush on since i was 15. he was my best friend before we were ever “together” and even better of friends while dating. and he was my first love. we broke up “because of distance”. (and long distance, no matter the distance, is not - i repeat NOT a normal relationship.) the ride after confirming that the break up was for real has been a wild one. i’ve been sad, i’ve been numb, i’ve been to the depths of my being more than ever before, and i’ve been happy. i’ve been working on finding the peace to cope with losing one of the most important and influential people in my life through various outlets, but the best one being art (accompanied by music).
just a little over a week ago, around easter (“OF COURSE!”, i thought), we were able to talk on the phone and tell each other that we will always love each other and care for one another, and that we are happy for ourselves and each other. although i had been telling myself that i personally had closure for some time already, it took this phone call to realize that i didn’t. since that call, and in the midst of current relationships and other life events, i was spending a lot of my imagination on this piece i wanted to create. and i have never been so joyous, in tears, or full from making something as i have with this. i have also never had a project that “yielded to the process” quite like this one.
really thankful for all of this is kind of all i am trying to say. and trust your struggle. no matter what.
the ‘things’ i worry about now are petty in comparison to what i will worry about later.
why does a person who thinks, dresses, or acts “different” get referred to, more often than not, as a “hipster” or “hippie”? wanting to create, make a difference, or see change should not be limited to a subculture label.
BELIEVE IN THE PROCESS.
the experiences that are unique to a woman should never be minimized.